My 2015 Beauty Favourites

Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Kit (Light To Medium)
Laura Mercier Secret Camoflauge (SC-3)
Mac Mineralize Skinfinish Natural (Medium)
theBalm Mary-Lou Manizer

(LEFT: theBalm Mary-Lou Manizer RIGHT: Laura Mercier Secret Camoflauge SC-3)

Origins Out of Trouble Mask 
Garnier Pure Active Matte Control Moisturiser
Elizabeth Arden Original Eight Hour Cream

Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium
Lancome Tresor Midnight Rose

Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara
Lancome Hypnose Mascara
E.l.f. Expert Liquid Liner
Maybelline Brow Drama (Dark Brown)
NYX Tame & Frame (03 Brunette)

Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick (03 Patina)
MAC Creme In Your Coffee Creemsheen Lipstick
Mac Brick-O-La Amplified Lipstick
Rimmel Kate Moss Lipstick (03)

(TOP TO BOTTOM: Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick Patina, MAC Creme In Your Coffee, Rimmel Kate Moss 03, MAC Brick-O-La)

What were your favourite products of the year? See you in 2016!

Things To Do Before 2016

2016 sounds terrifying doesn't it? It feels like I only got used to writing 2015 in this past month. Anywho, I'm determined to make 2016 a positive and motivational year for me. A lot is going to change. So I thought I would share with you the things I plan to do before this rollercoaster of a year is over.

Have a good clear out
After Christmas, my room always seems to be overflowing with junk and unnecessary packaging. In my Monica Geller state of mind, there's nothing better than filling black sacks with rubbish and stuff to sell/donate. Clean bedding, clean surfaces and a good hoover will guarantee I enter 2016 with a fresh outlook.

Do the work I'm supposed to do
And there's a lot of it. I have training for my job, two essays to re-draft, two books to read, a mock essay and thorough research to complete. Realistically, I won't have finished much of it before the new year but it's a nice thought.

Have one last shopping spree
I've spent a lot. My December pay check was a lot more than usual because of Christmas overtime (January's should be even better). I've purchased a lot of things for my bedroom, a new bed and a few makeup bits I've wanted but have been patiently waiting for (hey, I just cleared a lot of it out give me a break parents!). I'm also heading to Westfield London on Wednesday to re-purchase empties and general things I need. The list is extensive to say the least. 2016 is all about saving money so it might be a purely drugstore makeup year. BUT FIRST, I NEED A FOUNDATION THAT MATCHES MY CURRENT SKINTONE UGH.

Plan plan plan
To be deeply honest, 2015 was not a great year for me. I'm so determined to change everything in 2016. If I plan I will be able to reach my goals (more on that soon) and will be a better time keeper. Weekly schedules also help me so much. I need to know what I'm eating and when, who's at work, when my assignments are due... I need to plan the whole of 2016 actually.

Open my memory jar
Whenever something has made me happy this year, I've written it on a sticky-note and put it in my jar. I plan to open it on New Years Eve. Not only will it give me positivity for the new year, I will have a good cringe at things that aren't relevant anymore and enjoy looking back on my memories for the year.

What do you need to do before 2015 is over? What are your goals for 2016? 

Something There | Short Film

This short film was something that only came together because I had some interesting footage from a shoot, a pretty vague idea and a beautiful piece of soundtrack by Ludovico Einaudi. Take what you want from it but, despite the repetitiveness, I'm quite proud of this one.

What My 18th Birthday Means To Me

18 is an achievement. 
18 is well done. 
18 is a celebration. 
18 is proving myself wrong. 
18 is a pat on the back. 
18 is a milestone. 
18 is pride. 
18 is still not giving up.
18 is coming this far.
18 is a hug on a cold day. 
18 is freedom. 
18 is escape. 
18 is 157680 hours.
18 is 6570 days.
18 is 18% of a century.
18 is love.
18 is forgetting.
18 is trying.
18 is waking up.
18 is goodbye.
18 is responsibility.
18 is to the future.
18 is still learning.
18 is fear. 
18 is being thrown into life. 
18 is being lost. 
18 is breathing. 
18 is the beginning. 
18 is the end.
18 is sunrise.
18 in sunset.
18 is survival.
18 is suffering.
18 is taking the leap.
18 is now.
18 is for living.

'Where Do I Start With You?'

I don’t know how to write poetry about you
I like to write about the rawness of my feelings
everything about you is too messy to form into art
I write about fire and the past

I write about kisses

but I cannot bare to think about how lips would feel

or what yours would say
I write about the sun and the grass and the earth

I can’t compare you to nature
you watched me wilt

I can’t write about you

I won’t write about you anymore

I don’t have the words to begin with

and you honestly just don’t deserve it


The Sunday Afternoon Escape | Dungeness

This is just a quick video I threw together over the weekend. We spontaneously decided to head for the sea so I could get some nice shots of the sunset for the short film I'm making. However, the clouds took over so we never saw the sun go down but I got lots of aesthetically pleasing shots nonetheless.

'Picasso Masterpiece'

Your love disfigured me

I put all the pieces back in a rush

now everything is in the wrong place

like a Picasso masterpiece

I am your distorted jigsaw

healing shouldn’t take this long

healing shouldn’t hurt like this

I should be breathing fine

my lungs don’t know how to be lungs

the air whistles through the cracks

my spine arches before it’s time

my head is in place of my heart

my heart is in place of my head

my blood is flowing backwards

I can’t remember where I kept my strength

everything is in the wrong place


'You Could Be A Poet'

You could be a poet 

you told me this sometime after you left

and I think that was the biggest heart break 

realising I had never told you
never shared my love of poems and how much of me is poetry
I had never let you inside
never showed you the lines that I hide between 

never let you see the sentences I form in the dark
never showed you what my mind could do when it was drowning 

because you could not handle that 

but it’s a part of me
words flow out of me like blood 
flowing from an open wound 

if I ripped my skin open 

I’m sure all you would find 

is a stack of metaphors 

words I long to put on the page
and an endless list of quotes


I heal with words 

I learn with words
I suffer through words 

words put me together and words rip me apart
the only word you knew how to use was sorry
you can’t make something beautiful with one word
but you sure as hell can ruin it 


REVIEW: Lancôme Trésor Midnight Rose

I think one of the best compliments to receive, is being told you smell nice. Better yet, being told you smell amazingI have been lusting over this fragrance for so long so it only felt right to pick it up at the airport this year. This perfume is so gorgeous and I have been given so many compliments on it that it has automatically become my favourite scent. Even my best friend tells me every Saturday that she knows I've walked into work without having to look up because she knows I'll be wearing this. I've never really found a perfume I can say is 'my signature scent', but this is it. This is like my holy grail fragrance (big statement, right?). 

To begin with, the packaging is so pretty it's hard to fault. It just looks so elegant on my dressing table. The bottle is clear and purple and has a little ribbon rose around the top. Although carrying any perfume bottle is difficult, I think this is manageable to put in a bag. It's described as 'radiant'.

'Inspired by the most romantic hour, just before midnight, when magic tints the sky a violet hue. It is the moment when anything is possible.'
Fragrance Note
Top notes: raspberry rose absolute
Heart: jasmine, peony, currant buds, pink pepper

Base: Virginian cedar, musk and vanilla
The scents I pick up on most are the raspberry rose, jasmine and vanilla which together make this perfume incredibly feminine, light and sweet. It's such a divine, sugary scent. It's warm but not overpowering and it seems to genuinely last for a majority of the day. I'd describe it as uplifting and musky at the same time. Alluring, romantic and floral, this perfume is just gorgeous and I will 100% be repurchasing once I inevitably run out of it.

Nothing But Honesty.

Okay. Breathe. Okay. Just write something!

Well hello! As I sit here typing, I'm terribly terrified of what will happen after I press the publish button on this post. Mostly because I don't know quite where I'm going with the whole thing but also because it could be quite hard to get through. I just want to clear a few things up and be really honest to not only you but myself about certain things in my life. This is not a sob story, a cry for help or anything of the sort. What I hope to gain from writing this is some sort of release but, I also hope that somehow this could help someone who is dealing with a similar situation.

I would just like to ask those of you who know me not to take too much from this. For those of you who know a vast majority of this, it's likely you support me daily and are genuinely wonderful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. For those of you who don't, this should explain a few things but it doesn't change anything. And last and least, I'm not a spiteful person but for those of you who know and have made things worse, I hope this is a wake-up call for you. Kindness is free.

There is no rule book on how to talk about these kinds of things, but I want to. There's such a stigma for associating yourself with the words mental illness. The words attention seeking and drama queen get tossed around a lot when people bring up mental illness. It's because of this, that I have been so afraid of talking about this openly. It's come to the point where I both need and want to.

I am unhappy. I have been pretty unhappy for a couple of years now and this is an obvious problem. I do not love myself the way I should. Trying to love yourself is not easy. Some people have positivity poured into them when they are created so much that it brings out the same trait in others. I wish I was like this. Instead, negativity is my best friend. I am not in a place to either moan or sugar coat but living in a constant battle with yourself is hell. Mental illness is a fight to be happy. Nobody should have to fight to be happy.

I should start somewhere. I wish I could pinpoint the moment that it began. Midway through writing this I went to look back through things I have kept in a memory box to find some reason for feeling the way I do, but I just got sentimental. The date that I kind of realised something was seriously wrong is pretty clear in my mind though so I'll start there.

On Christmas Eve 2011, I was sitting on the living room floor surrounded by my family. My Mother (who I love very much but if you cry whilst reading this you're an idiot) was plaiting my hair as I had just come out of the shower. My brother points to my head and says, 'what's that bald patch on your head?'. Me, being a 14-year-old girl who was incredibly insecure anyway, freaked out asked someone to take a picture for me. There, on the left of my head was a small bald patch, no larger than a 2p coin. I went to bed with a heavy heart even though I was told not to panic. This was probably the worst Christmas gift I have ever received.

In primary school, I was confident and full of energy. I was the child who wanted to be a part of everything and was such a natural leader. I was also quite healthy in terms of my weight. At the end of year 6 and into secondary school I began putting on weight and it didn't stop. I can laugh at pictures now (and do quite frequently with a friend) because being a carefree child, I just honestly did not notice the weight I was putting on. By the age of 14, I was larger than most. My face was round and chubby, my whole body was out of proportion and I just didn't know what to do. My self-esteem was at an all-time low because secondary school made me compare myself to everyone around me. It's been almost 4 years since then and never at any point have I been able to say I love my body. My weight is now at a figure I will not share with you (or anyone really) and although I can angle a camera to look slimmer and have lost a little here and there, I am in medical terms, overweight. This is, unfortunately, my biggest insecurity. I hate my arms, my thighs, my stomach, my back, my bum, my legs, my chest... There was, before the age of 14, very little explanation for it. I exercised regularly until this point and I ate sufficiently healthily but that wasn't enough anymore and I lost control. I also broke out badly and have dealt with acne ever since. I think that's why I fell in love with makeup so much. (I could go on about this for hours and that's not the main focus of the post so you can read about my acne here.) As a result of my overall appearance, I was unhappy. Really unhappy.

By Christmas Eve 2011, I had lost the buzz and enthusiasm I used to have. I lost myself. I remember sitting in the doctors with my Mum as she told my GP 'I just want my happy little girl back'. Finding that bald patch offered up some answers.

Shortly after Christmas, I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me firstly with alopecia areata. Very few people know about this because I chose not to talk about it. It's an autoimmune disease, with hair loss usually from the scalp as the body destroys its own tissue as if it were an invader. It affects 0.1-0.2% of humans and has many forms. If it's not too severe (and I am so fortunate for this) it grows back partially or wholly. I was given some ointment to stimulate the regrowth. Naturally, I panicked every time I showered as I watched the hair gather in the drain. I think I had 4 bald patches at one time, but they were mostly covered by my hair. It was worrying for me as my hair is one of the few things I love about myself. I cannot pull off a hat at all, hahaha. Although sometimes alopecia is hereditary, my hair loss was connected to stress. I am so lucky that my hair grew back. Every now and then, a small patch can appear on my head but it always clears up. Nethertheless, once they found the alopecia, things got worse. My doctor told me not to panic (why are people always telling me not to panic? I hate it!) but they wanted to run a few tests just to check for further problems.

Alopecia can certainly cause psychological stress. Those affected tend to have a slightly higher incidence of problems related to the immune system, including the next stop on my list of conditions, hypothyroidism. Having that first blood test was horrifying. I made the stupid mistake of watching my blood fill the little tube and nearly passed out.  The second time, they couldn't find my veins so the nurse stuck the needle in about three times like I was Frankenstein. After that, I kinda got used to the vampire treatment and I just look the other way and breathe deeply. Within a few weeks, the results came back to show my thyroid hormone levels were low. I panicked (again) and was told not to panic (again).

Hypothyroidism is a disorder of the endocrine system. It occurs when the thyroid gland does not produce enough thyroid hormone. There are many symptoms, the list seemed endless when I first googled the disorder. The list includes: fatigue, dry skin, feeling cold, depression, poor memory and concentration, hair loss, weight gain with poor appetite, slow pulse rate, shortness of breath and other various swellings and changes in body shape. I now had an explanation for the way I had been feeling. Symptoms like fatigue, depression, hair loss and weight gain were the most significant for me. Clearly my alopecia was linked to this as well as the gradual but substantial weight gain over the past year. My doctor started me off on 25mg of levothyroxine, a medicine which would act as a replacement for the lack of thyroxine I was producing.

After a few months of trial and another blood test, the dose was increased to 50. Then gradually over the past 4 years, 75, 100, 125, 150, 175, 200. Every time there were more and more blood tests. During this time, we discovered I'm also slightly anemic, probably because I steer clear of red meats. I started taking iron supplements too. 200mg of levothyroxine was pushing into the higher end of the bracket so I was dropped back to 175. At first I felt ashamed to be taking medication which sounds ridiculous to me now. It's there for a reason, to make me feel better. I pictured myself an old lady, popping several pills a day and smelling like old cabbage. In reality, lifetime medication just becomes a part of the routine and you barely stop to think about it. I have never experienced any side effects from this medication, however, if I forget to take it for a day or two, my emotional crash will come pretty badly around 3 days later. The emotional side of things affects me the most. Having both depression and anxiety is certainly damaging.

My first panic attack was honestly one of the worst experiences of my life. I was out with my family at a county show in a field, Summer 2012. My Mum and I decided to go to the toilet and the queues were long. Standing in line, I was exhausted and it was extremely hot. I first noticed that I felt sweaty and I began shaking. My breathing became very irregular as if I almost forgot to do it naturally and was forcing the air in and out of my lungs. Then, my eye sight went fuzzy and dark, I could barely hear and all I could think was 'I'm going to die, I'm actually dying'. It was horrible, to watch my Mum come in and out of focus asking if I was okay and what was wrong and all I could do was cry. Feeling dizzy, almost collapsing and feeling for sure that I was going to be sick, many people in the line gave up their space for me to move past them. I remember struggling to find the steps, locking myself in on the toilet and sobbing. It took 10 minutes to even get out of the cubicle. Mum dragged me to some shade, told me to sit down and I kept telling her that I thought I was dying. My Dad bought me a chocolate crepe for the sugar content and a big bottle of water and I sat on the grass feeling defeated. In all honesty, I did not fully understand what had just happened to me. It took a while for me to be completely okay after that as it was such a shock. I spent the whole of the next day in bed, scared to move and feeling very drained.

The thing is, panic attacks are always different. Most last from 5 to 20 minutes. Symptoms usually peak within 10 minutes. Some people say that they deal with attacks lasting for an hour, but this is more likely consistent attacks or a high anxiety level after the actual attack. If I have a panic attack, it will usual last for 15-20 minutes but it can be hours until I finally feel calm and the anxiety has reached a level I can deal with.

After that, anxiety became part of my everyday life. My second panic attack was on a bus and since then I've only used a bus once (this was a few months ago. I was supported and not made to feel like an idiot so shoutout to that person). I had one at my first real party but was too ashamed to tell anyone (I am now pretty calm at parties as long as I am with someone who understands should anything go wrong). I've had a handful at school and couldn't even go into one of my classrooms for a few weeks without reaching the door and panicking. In the past few months, I had one at work when it was a particularly stressful weekend with lots of extremely rude customers. It lasted for around 3 hours of consecutive panic but I was too worried to ask to step away and calm down (thank you to my work best friend for doing the right thing and acting calmly and sensibly for me). I've had them in my bed in the middle of the night. In restaurants, whilst shopping. Going out for a few drinks but being stood alone whilst someone goes to get them has set me off. I've had panic attacks in the car too which is so dangerous. I failed my first driving test because of a panic attack. They can happen anywhere, without warning.

In the moment, it is truly terrifying. But once all the anxiety has settled, I just need time to recover. After a while, I just came to terms with the illness. I hate saying the phrase 'mental illness', I really do. The attacks used to be more frequent at around three a week but since then it has calmed down. I know how to calm myself down. I rely heavily on something called rescue remedy which is especially helpful when you find yourself in traumatic situations. I take long deep breaths. I get some air. I go outside. I lie down. I wash my hands (I don't know why this helps, but it usually does). I listen to calm music or find complete silence depending on the severity of the panic. If I am capable, I talk to a friend about things I am passionate about. I know what works for me. This is also why I don't drink excessively. I know my limits and drink until I feel merry but feeling like I have no control usually sets me off. Is this how I want to be? No. But it is how I was built and I have accepted that. It's easy to blame yourself. I am supposed to be happy! Why can't I enjoy the things my friends do? Why do I have to bring down everyone around me? Even now, I don't think all of my friends fully understand or accept it. I guess I never really explain things well either. I used to be invited out a lot, but I think people just assumed I'd say no for the fear of having an attack. Despite this, I have really pushed myself recently and I'm proud of that. I've stopped feeling like such a burden to everyone and I know I will cross that bridge when I come to it should I panic (as I said, they are less frequent now unless it's a particularly stressful time).

You would not ignore a physical stab wound. Why should you ignore an emotional stab wound? But, the idea of having to get help was at first so alien to me. I do not need it anymore or at least I don't think I do. I have learned to live with it. Unless you can deal with it yourself, you should get professional help. Whilst I had counselling for a few months at school, I felt unappreciated and generally it made things a whole lot worse. But I took one thing away from it. My counsellor told me that the way I feel has its perks. I know, a terrible thing to say. But now looking back I understand her completely. Feeling this way does have its perks. I am compassionate and I can empathise. I'm a good listener, I want to make others feel better. I am capable of loving people with everything I have. I can channel what I feel into what I create. I understand emotion.

But despite knowing I am a good person, I always seem to think that people judge me. Maybe they talk about how weird I am. Maybe they see me as wingy and pathetic. I always think people assume I'm making it up, using it as an excuse or looking for attention. That's the thing about mental illness, there's such a stigma. As more and more people are suffering, it's more difficult to understand. It makes me sick that people, young teens especially, think it's 'beautiful' or 'cool' or 'interesting' to have some sort of mental illness. It's none of those things. Take mine if you want them, it's not something you want. Even writing this post, I'm worried that people will see it as a desperate cry for attention when it's really not. Having a mental illness is not something to brush aside or to laugh at but at the same time I don't want to be treated any differently for it. Although it sucks having a panic attack or feeling depressed, I am fully aware that it's not a nice experience for those around you. I am at a stage where people respect me despite everything and if worst came to worst they would help me without a second thought. My close friends know what to do, the right things to say. They understand how my brain works and I am not too much for them to handle. If they did feel this way I know they would tell me and I would step back. It works both ways, I support my friends no matter how big or small their problems. Of course, at the same time, there are unsupportive people too. Unsupportive people who are still part of my life. Not everyone can understand. I've certainly pushed people away because of everything and I've lost others all together. I am so thankful to have the people who do care in my life. They know who they are.

Weight loss is such a touchy subject for me. Hypothyroidism frankly drains me. I'd say this is 75% the reason I don't exercise enough. The remaining percentage is 10% lack of knowledge, 10% laziness and 5% shame. Since I first noticed the weight gain, I have lost 3 dress sizes and now I look healthy just not thin. It's not much at all, I'm still hugely embarrassed by myself, but it's something. I haven't done anything, in particular, some of it has fallen off as my body matured and the rest is short-lived attempts at healthiness. I'm exercising more, I'm eating better. I'm not expecting crazy change, but I don't need it. As long as I learn to accept myself and I am as healthy as possible, why should it matter what others think? The opinions of the people who love me are the only opinions I care about. The same can be said for my acne which is worse than ever. At least I'm smart. At least I'm caring.

Being depressed is a part of my life. It's made me who I am. It doesn't get much easier and it can't be ignored, but it's always there so the best you can do is fight it. And I am fighting.  I'm doing well, really. Just because you are unhappy doesn't mean you can't laugh at funny things. It doesn't mean you can't marvel at wonderful things. You can enjoy happy moments and feel pride. You can smile. I am passionate about so many things. I find joy in little things every day. I love people. I love beautiful things. But I am still dealing with depression and anxiety every day. I am still ill and ashamed of my appearance. I cry too much. I feel too much. I overthink. Some days are worse than others. Some weeks you barely think about it because you're on a constant sugar rush feeling that you hope will last a little longer. Some nights everything hits you. But I am so happy despite being unhappy. I'm strong and I know it. I have a few supportive close friends and wonderful family. I'm lucky. I have had so much opportunity in my life and I know that I need to push myself to find the happy moments and enjoy them as they come and go. I'm filling my life with positivity and positive people. In the wise words of Ronan Keating, 'life is a rollercoaster I just gotta ride it'. And I am happy even though I'm unhappy.

That's all from me, I could ramble for hours but I think I've covered everything I set out to and you'll probably fall asleep. I promise the next post won't be so dramatic, haha. Keep comments friendly please. No matter what you're feeling, you will not be alone. If you know me or not, I'd be happy to talk to you about anything you need help with. P.S. no matter how many times I read this, re-wrote it and hesitated about posting it, I still wasn't happy with it so it took a lot to press publish. Love to you all.

'Two Sizes Too Big'

On lazy days I wear ugly jeans that are two sizes too big
just to remind me how far I've come
and though it's taken years of sweat and tears and mind-numbing hate
it's a small something, I've done something

I know it's never going to stop
I know that there will always be nights when I wake up screaming
the thought of someone touching my skin
the thought of letting them see everything
having to explain the scars and bruises and the cuts

my body has become a map
it's a one-way journey
places I've been
mistakes I've made
times I should have been more careful when shaving
times I should have looked where I was going
times I touched the cake tin straight from the oven
times I dropped the straighteners

I feel like my skin is two sizes too big for me
I've never grown into it properly
the way it hangs and bulges
I've never adjusted to it

If I could talk to a younger version of myself
I'd ask her to try new vegetables
grow her own fruit
play sports with her friends
drink more water
learn to moisturise
don't pick scars
wear some suncream
stop biting at her nails

but I don't think I'd be me without it all
without all the things I want to break mirrors for
and although I'm stuck between knowing I'm beautiful
and wanting to tear myself apart and step out as someone new
I like the way my hair curls when it's damp
I like the mole on the right of my chest
I like my lips when I wear lipstick
I like how dark my eyes are
I like my figure in black jeans

And on the rare occasion
I like me
For that I am proud

'The Moment'

You're sitting on this hill
and slowly but breathtakingly
the sun sinks between the trees
with a pop and a sizzle and a bang
everything is fireworks
the sky erupts in orange and pink and purple and
there are so many colours it nearly breaks your heart
you see all the colours
you feel all the colours
all the hope and beauty and wonder and
you are a part of it
and this is the moment you chose to live

your best friend holds you because you're telling her everything
you tell her how everything was dark for so long
how you're still so scared to see in colour

but you're watching your friends be children
clutching onto the little youth there is left
silly games of 'it' and laughing till we can't breathe
picking handfuls of grass to throw
and taking silly pictures for our walls
holding hands on the walk back
singing songs lyrics we'll never forget
and the colour soaks back into your cheeks

This is the moment that life burned with colour
and you chose to live
and the sky celebrated the end
or was it the beginning?
- e.w.

(A lovely friend (Rosie) convinced me that my writing was actually good so I'm going to start posting some of my poems on Sundays which terrifies me but I'm actually quite proud of some of these haha!)

My Concealer Collection

Rimmel Wake Me Up Anti-Fatigue Effect & Radiant Glow (True Ivory)

Price: £5.49
Application: Doe foot applicator.
Colour: Range is poor. Most are too orange toned.
Coverage: Medium.
Formula: Smooth. Not too thick.
Longevity: Good.
Blending: Stubborn if using too much product.
What I love: Brightening. Counteracts redness.
What I hate: Tends to sit in creases. Too shimmery? Poor for covering acne.
Best used for: Under eyes.
Rating: 6/10

Maybelline The Eraser Eye Instant Anti-Age Perfect & Cover (Light)

Price: £7.99
Application: Rounded sponge.
Colour: Minimal range. Matches nicely to various skin tones. Lovely glow.
Coverage: Medium-full.
Formula: Creamy. Quite thick. Feels and looks lighter and natural.
Longevity: Very good.
Blending: Easy and smoothing.
What I love: I can get away with wearing only this on a good day! Doesn't settle into lines or creases. Counteracts redness impressively well. Covers acne successfully.
What I hate: Sponge can be too big and messy. Odd smell (maybe it's just me).
Best used for: Under eyes but I use it all over.
Rating: 7/10

Mac Pro Long Wear Concealer (NW20) (I have also purchased NC25 since first writing this post which better matches my skin tone)

Price: £17.00
Application: Pump.
Colour: Impressive and inclusive colour range as always with Mac.
Coverage: Full.
Formula: Thinned foundation like consistency.
Longevity: Amazing.
Blending: Easy if using a correct colour.
What I love: Versatile. Covers blemishes wonderfully.
What I hate: Just a tad 
expensive. Pump gives too much product. Feels quite smothering on the skin. Overuse gives me breakouts.
Best used for: The whole face/ lighter shades for under eyes.
Rating: 8.5/10

Rimmel Match Perfection Skin Tone Adapting 2-in-1 Concealer & Highlighter (Ivory)

Price: £3.99
Application: Brush.
Colour: Range isn't extensive but colours work on many skin tones. 
Coverage: Medium-full.
Formula: Thick and creamy. Feels natural.
Longevity: Very good.
Blending: Blends nicely into skin/ foundation.
What I love: It really covers well. Nice finish. Brightening.
What I hate: Applicator makes a mess and acne harder to cover.
Best used for: Whole face but particularly under eyes.
Rating: 7/10

Soap & Glory Trick & Treatment Double-Action Under Eye Dark Circle Corrector (B
right On)
Price: £9.00
Application: Doe foot applicator.
Colour: Very limited. Universal colour but works because of purpose.
Coverage: Medium.
Formula: Shimmery but quite smooth.
Longevity: Good.
Blending: Easy due to consistency.
What I love: Wakes up eyes. Very radiant. Reflects light.
What I hate: Can sit in creases. May look un-natural.
Best used for: Under eyes.
Rating: 6/10

Collection Lasting Perfection Ultimate Wear (3 Warm Medium) (I have recently discovered I am better matched to 2 Cool Medium)

Price: £5.99
Application: Doe foot applicator.
Colour: Not extensive colour range. Often I am in between shades.
Coverage: Full.
Formula: Thick and heavy.
Longevity: Very good.
Blending: Can be difficult because of the terrifying consistency.
What I love: Covers new and angry spots well. Battles redness.
What I hate: Dreadful for textured, dry or flaky skin. A nightmare to blend if not done immediately.
Best used for: Big spots.
Rating: 8/10

Maybelline Pure Cover Mineral Anti-Cernes (02 Natural)

Price: £3.49-£6.19
Application: Doe foot applicator.
Colour: Few shades. Not a good match for me.
Coverage: Medium.
Formula: Mineral. Quite smoothing.
Longevity: Good.
Blending: Neither good nor bad.
What I love: Looks natural and feels natural.
What I hate: Colours aren't varied enough for me.
Best used for: Brightening under eyes or highlighting.
Rating: 5/10
(Cannot find to take individual image of anymore)

I plan to do similar posts but with mascaras and blushes etc. I hope this was interesting and insightful!

Looking After Yourself When You Don't Feel Like Yourself

Hello strangers!
I apologise for how unacceptably and rediculously long it has been since I last posted. Shoot me down, I'm a terrible human being. I'll spare you the details but things haven't been easy for me recently and I'm going through a rough patch. You know when all the little things add up and explode and everything is crap for a while? Yeah, that's what's happening in my life right now. I usually have some form of escape. Writing, reading, blogging, beauty. But recently I've lacked both the courage and motivation to do anything. I don't want to leave the house, don't want to talk about things because I'm not sure what to say and my self-esteem is non-existent. I know I will be fine, but everything takes time. I'm not looking for any sympathy, in fact I'd rather give advice from the comfort of my bed.

How to look after yourself when you're feeling everything a little too much:

Don't feel bad for having feelings -
The difficult thing, for anyone, when they're struggling is to accept it. I am (as everyone who knows me will strongly agree) a very emotional person. I am sensitive and think irrationally, but that's okay. You're allowed to be angry and upset and lost. It's all part of the process of picking yourself back up and trying again. ('That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.')

Surround yourself with the people who care -
One of the most important things on the road to feeling better, is to feel supported. You don't have to talk to thousands of people about your problems. Some people are just out for the story and don't have good motives for listening to you. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your feelings. Talk to people you trust. My friends all help me in different ways. I have friends I call at 1am and all they hear is sniffling and sobbing. I have friends who analyse the situation completely and tell me the logical route to take. I ahve friends who are straight forward with advice because they've been there before. I have friends who make me feel important, beautiful and strong. I have friends who take me for coffee, buy me chocolate, write me cards. I have friends who send long paragraphs and others who send small texts. I have friends who make me laugh to make things better. Thank you to all of you. No matter how you are supported, make sure it's real. Make sure it's people who want the best for you and shut out the rest.

Take time -
Don't rush anything. If you're not ready then that's okay. If you need to be alone for a while do it. If you don't have the power to talk to someone then wait for it. Rushing things makes it messy. You need time to calm down and adjust.

Try something new -
It sounds completely lame. Trust me, I'm not the super clever type, I'm a pretty average student academically. However, over the past few weeks I have fallen head over heels in love with poetry. It's actually beautiful and helps me to deal with my feelings a lot more when it's not about historical topics or shoved in my face in English class. Finding something new you can get involved in can really bring you back to life and give you a little direction again. (Oh and I'm also binging 'Pretty Little Liars' too although I'm not sure if that's a good thing).

Understand what your body wants -
When I get stressed and am going through a rough patch, I forget to look after myself. I break out badly (binge eating and stress), put on weight and forget the basics. Make sure you eat properly and regularly. If you take medication, don't skip it. Keep good hygiene, look after your skin, get enough sleep and water. Your body doesn't have to suffer just because your mind is.

Pamper yourself -
(The only slightly beauty related part of the post, oops.) Relax. Have a bath with a LUSH bath bomb, light some candles, paint your nails, put on lipstick, use a face mask, shave your legs, moisturise. Anything that will make you feel prettier and instantly better.

Treat yourself -
Go on, you deserve it. If it's that pretty dress you've had in your online basket for months, an extra square of chocolate or a night out with the girls, it's gonna make you feel better and you need to start feeling better at some point.

Don't give up -
I'm starting to sound like a nagging Mum who lectures their child and makes them cringe but you can't just give up. Nothing is perfect first time. Everything takes experience, confidence and you have to keep going. Don't accept failure for something you really want.

After all the silly crying and the sad music and emptiness, you will find the strength. It could be days, weeks, months but you're going to be just fine. You aren't alone. You aren't weak for feeling. You aren't a bad person. Go tell the people you love you love them right now, thank them for the help and get back up. You'll stumble and crash a few times on the way but that's natural. In the end, you'll be okay. And okay is wonderful. 

REVIEW: Liz Earle Skincare Haul & Review

It's official, I am in love with the goddess that is Liz Earle. I would like to thank Liz personally, for completely saving my horrible skin. The 'naturally active' ingredients in these products are so gentle and nourishing. Yes, I spent a lot of money on this haul which I haven't yet forgiven myself for but looking at my face now, I have only 5% regret.

Firstly, I ordered the 'Skincare Essentials Set' for Normal/Combination skin. I was in two minds about which to buy. My skin can be sensitive so Dry/Sensitive sounded like a sensible idea, however, I have been getting a lot oilier around my t-zone so decided that I would choose combination to hopefully balance things out. As well as this, I bought the 'Deep Cleansing Mask'.

The legendary 'Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish' was actually a repurchase. I cannot rave about this product more. It has completely revolutionised the way I take my makeup off, the look and feel of my skin and the complete ease of the whole process. For those who haven't heard of this product (most have tried and loved), it's so simple to use. You take a pump of this creamy balm and wipe onto your dry, makeup caked face. You continue to cleanse the face by rubbing the product into the skin and over the lips and eyes. It totally breaks down all your makeup, even the mascaras that cling on for dear life. Then, you wet a muslin cloth in warm water and keep rotating it to wipe your face clean of the product. Not only does it remove all of the build up of the day and make your realise how much you actually put on your face, it polishes and gently exfoliates the skin too, leaving you with a gorgeously clean glow. There is genuinely nothing quite like it. My skin has never looked and felt this clear. I've always hated makeup wipes so this is my holy grail makeup remover; I don't think I'll ever go back.

This is an unexpected love for me. I usually stay clear of face masks because they're time-consuming and messy. I also hate taking face masks off. But the 'Deep Cleansing Mask' is different. The green clay mask uses manuka honey which is a natural antiseptic and healer. Leaving this on for around 10-15 minutes draws all the impurities from the skin and tones down the redness of my spots. You take this one off with the sponges supplied, wetting them and gently wiping away all traces of the mask with one in each hand. I don't use this every day but it really is amazing; skin looks so fresh and alive after using it.

(Me looking hot as ever in the face mask)

The 'Instant Boost Skin Tonic' is a in basic terms a very gentle toner. Adding a natural glow and removing even more makeup you didn't realise was still on your face, this definitely 'revitalises, soothes and tones'. It's so refreshing and subtle but does such a good job at cleansing pores and preventing sebum build-up.

My least favourite but that makes it no less wonderful, the 'Eyebright Soothing Eye Lotion' removes any eye makeup that's still clinging on. You never have to look like a panda again. It's also very awakening, not irritant and very helpful in the morning. Improving the look of dark circles and bagginess, this one is brilliant for those with terrible sleep patterns like me. Like the 'Instant Skin Boost Tonic', the bottles have a twist cap which lets you easily dispense a suitable amount of product. I love this idea as it locks into place, so you waste.

Honestly, there were mixed reviews on the 'Skin Repair Moisturiser', so I was very sceptical. For me, it works wonderfully. It sinks in easily and keeps my skin hydrated. It is very soothing and tones down the redness. It does balance out my dryness and oiliness. It's great as a base for makeup too. I have not found a moisturiser anywhere as effective as this. The amount of product you actually need is minimal so the pot lasts forever. It looks pretty much bottomless but even if I empty it, I will be definitely re-purchasing.

In general, my only problems are the insane pricing and that some of the packaging gives you no indication as to how much product is left. I have fallen head over heels with Liz Earle's skincare. I would repurchase all of these products a million times. My skin looks so much smoother, clearer and healthier. My acne is so minimal at the moment and I cannot praise these products anymore than I already have. This is pretty much my current skincare routine and I don't plan to change it anytime soon.