Looking After Yourself When You Don't Feel Like Yourself

Hello strangers!
I apologise for how unacceptably and rediculously long it has been since I last posted. Shoot me down, I'm a terrible human being. I'll spare you the details but things haven't been easy for me recently and I'm going through a rough patch. You know when all the little things add up and explode and everything is crap for a while? Yeah, that's what's happening in my life right now. I usually have some form of escape. Writing, reading, blogging, beauty. But recently I've lacked both the courage and motivation to do anything. I don't want to leave the house, don't want to talk about things because I'm not sure what to say and my self-esteem is non-existent. I know I will be fine, but everything takes time. I'm not looking for any sympathy, in fact I'd rather give advice from the comfort of my bed.

How to look after yourself when you're feeling everything a little too much:

Don't feel bad for having feelings -
The difficult thing, for anyone, when they're struggling is to accept it. I am (as everyone who knows me will strongly agree) a very emotional person. I am sensitive and think irrationally, but that's okay. You're allowed to be angry and upset and lost. It's all part of the process of picking yourself back up and trying again. ('That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.')

Surround yourself with the people who care -
One of the most important things on the road to feeling better, is to feel supported. You don't have to talk to thousands of people about your problems. Some people are just out for the story and don't have good motives for listening to you. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your feelings. Talk to people you trust. My friends all help me in different ways. I have friends I call at 1am and all they hear is sniffling and sobbing. I have friends who analyse the situation completely and tell me the logical route to take. I ahve friends who are straight forward with advice because they've been there before. I have friends who make me feel important, beautiful and strong. I have friends who take me for coffee, buy me chocolate, write me cards. I have friends who send long paragraphs and others who send small texts. I have friends who make me laugh to make things better. Thank you to all of you. No matter how you are supported, make sure it's real. Make sure it's people who want the best for you and shut out the rest.

Take time -
Don't rush anything. If you're not ready then that's okay. If you need to be alone for a while do it. If you don't have the power to talk to someone then wait for it. Rushing things makes it messy. You need time to calm down and adjust.

Try something new -
It sounds completely lame. Trust me, I'm not the super clever type, I'm a pretty average student academically. However, over the past few weeks I have fallen head over heels in love with poetry. It's actually beautiful and helps me to deal with my feelings a lot more when it's not about historical topics or shoved in my face in English class. Finding something new you can get involved in can really bring you back to life and give you a little direction again. (Oh and I'm also binging 'Pretty Little Liars' too although I'm not sure if that's a good thing).

Understand what your body wants -
When I get stressed and am going through a rough patch, I forget to look after myself. I break out badly (binge eating and stress), put on weight and forget the basics. Make sure you eat properly and regularly. If you take medication, don't skip it. Keep good hygiene, look after your skin, get enough sleep and water. Your body doesn't have to suffer just because your mind is.

Pamper yourself -
(The only slightly beauty related part of the post, oops.) Relax. Have a bath with a LUSH bath bomb, light some candles, paint your nails, put on lipstick, use a face mask, shave your legs, moisturise. Anything that will make you feel prettier and instantly better.

Treat yourself -
Go on, you deserve it. If it's that pretty dress you've had in your online basket for months, an extra square of chocolate or a night out with the girls, it's gonna make you feel better and you need to start feeling better at some point.

Don't give up -
I'm starting to sound like a nagging Mum who lectures their child and makes them cringe but you can't just give up. Nothing is perfect first time. Everything takes experience, confidence and you have to keep going. Don't accept failure for something you really want.

After all the silly crying and the sad music and emptiness, you will find the strength. It could be days, weeks, months but you're going to be just fine. You aren't alone. You aren't weak for feeling. You aren't a bad person. Go tell the people you love you love them right now, thank them for the help and get back up. You'll stumble and crash a few times on the way but that's natural. In the end, you'll be okay. And okay is wonderful.