'You Can Barely Handle Your Hair'

There’s a fine line between my worst and my best
And honey, I didn’t let you close to see either

My worst is a monster
spurting fire and hatred and blood
drowning in plain sight
and doesn’t want to be saved
gagging on spite
gurgling venom
red and black and everything so dark
covered in cobwebs
self destructing
envious, angry, evil
a burnt lasagne, a cold coffee
broken windows and no central heating
dusty journals, twice licked envelopes
pencil sharpenings
sad, old, lonely swing sets
scars on muscle
an empty movie theatre
an apocalyptic wasteland

My best is a goddess
a bottle of sunrise and the first bite of a cookie
enticing, inviting, fulfilling
curls and curves and shapely features
singing in full soprano
waltzing on the moon
skin like fireworks
celebrating and finding my voice
a mouth like sparklers
collection of possibility
the never ending sky
a bottomless jug of custard
heinz tomato soup in winter
the first snowfall
the sharp breath before a kiss
a late night drive to nowhere
a fish reflecting rainbows
a child’s first laugh
a dream

You ran away within months
And I ask myself how you’d have handled me?
I’m everything I want to be
I’m everything I don’t 
I’m not a pick n’ mix for the bits you like
You can barely handle your hair in the morning
so I ask myself, how could you have handled me?


1 comment

  1. OMG I just so love this x so very proud of you my beautiful girl


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