A Late Night Acne Rant

It's late and I should be asleep because I'm supposed to be looking after myself but naturally I'm emotional about the way I look. 

I haven't spoken about my acne in a long time because I haven't wanted to. But being stressed recently has effected my face and I've broken out badly; the sight of my own face makes me feel sick. These are angry, red, blotchy and painful spots around my chin and cheeks and I feel hideous. I'm genuinely so upset with how much work I put in and how little I get out. I'm embarrassed. My skin was so good and I'd fought my acne for so long but now I look nearly as bad as I did 3 years ago. I try so hard with it, am strict in my routine and spend way too much money on it to look like this again. 

The fact I will never have clear skin breaks my heart. I want to be that girl, you know, the naturally beautiful one who can have a few coats of mascara and a bit of lip gloss and look like a princess or Angelina Jolie. I hate being accused of wearing too many 'layers'. My skin is hideous. The scaring is so obvious and deep that there is no hope but to find a great foundation, get accused of wearing too much makeup and to come home, take it off and start all over again.  

On Thursday I have an appointment in Mac to get my face done and I honestly don't know if I'll be able to leave the house at this rate. I don't even want to face my friends and family when my skin is this bad. As much as I promote posivity in my lifestyle now, I'm honestly ashamed. I don't want to let my acne control my life. But right now it really does.

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