I'm Bringing Blogging Back, Yeah!

(I can't believe I named this post after Justin Timberlake lyrics but seriously I'm as in love with him as I always have been, did you see him at Eurovision? *swoons*)

Hello lovelies! (I say hello as if someone is reading, when in reality it's probably just my Mum lol) 

I hope you're all well. I start to write this post with no genuine idea about how it's going to end up. I wanted to do a life update but I can keep that fairly short. I've finished my exams and I don't think I messed up too badly, the exam board gods were generally considerate of my future. School's over, work is hell and it's nice to have time to do what I enjoy and express myself creatively. My brain seems to constantly be going into overdrive and I have to remind myself I have no more school work to do. That's kinda terrifying and a relief at the same time. I'm vlogging/filming more and I am slow on the edit wagon but I have tons to sort for YouTube. I am refining the plot of the novel I've always wanted to write and I'm so happy with it so far.

In terms of television, I finished The Vampire Diaries season 6 and it broke me (#DELENA4EVA). PLL started again and I'm so happy that stuff is actually happening and shock horror that it's good. I'm trying to get into Gossip Girl but like any show it takes so long to get good. I saw Me Before You and was a little disappointed it felt so much like The Fault In Our Stars which isn't even my favourite John Green book. (I must re-read Looking For Alaska). I also went on a spontaneous trip to see The Nice Guys and I bloody loved the whole film. Literally a 9.6/10.

I've had a few ups and downs. With pushing myself to go out more, my anxiety has been more and more threatening and I have felt a little swallowed at times. I had time off work and although my mental health apparently isn't a sufficient reason for time off, my physical symptoms kept me in bed a few days. By pushing myself, I've experienced great things (accidentally become a MECCA bingo member, talked to people I haven't seen in years, been to the drive in, had amazing conversations, redecorated my friend's bedroom). There have been awful things (having to call an ambulance for a very drunk friend, dealing with horrible people, taking abuse at work, basically babysitting friends, losing people out of the blue). My skin is better, my hair is worse but I'm taking my meds and going to therapy so I'mm trying. But all of it's experience and it's these experiences that make me such a complex and fabulous person. I'm so comfortable with the ups and downs now, they come naturally. 

Even today, I'm trying to better myself. I didn't go out to something I wanted to this weekend because I felt crippled by anxiety and I did a bit of overthinking which made things so much worse. But I know that I did what was best for me and that's okay. I'm planning my first clubbing night because it's a bit of a crime that I haven't been yet and I think I'm ready to have a go. Less impressively, I've just completed a £120 ASOS order (with free next day delivery of course). I blame Charlotte. I never loved ASOS until she did. Ugh, I hope I hate some stuff and I can send it back. Nether the less, expect a blog post on that haul soon.

Tomorrow I'm going to have a wardrobe clear out and detoxify my body hate. Year after year, my holidays consist of stress and body unhappiness. And year after year I vow to change that. I'm really going to make an effort this year and I think I'm even gonna vlog it all. With exciting outfits and makeup to slay and yeah, I'm going to try my best to have a great holiday. As of tomorrow I'm picking myself up again because that's all I can do. But basically, in a nutshell, I'm back.

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