I'm At University And I've Never Been Happier

If I could travel back in time to any point of my time at secondary school and tell a struggling, younger version of myself that I was going to be at University, younger me would have laughed in wise me’s face. If only I had know that I would be doing exactly what I love with fantastic people I love and still be able see my parents, my old friends, keep my job and sleep in my own bed. I'm a Film, Radio & Television student in my favourite city and I'm feeling great.

I wasn’t even confident this year I could do it. I originally deferred my application because I was scared. What if my anxiety is really bad? What if I don’t find anyone nice in my group? What if I waste £9,000 because I’m not clever enough to do this? I cannot express how glad I am to have started at Canterbury Christchurch this year. 

University has honestly been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I don’t regret choosing to stay home and commute to beautiful Canterbury one bit. There was such a stigma over the fact that I a) didn’t move away and b) didn’t move out. Again, I thank every god there is that I did exactly what I did because I have so much freedom and security at the same time. I’m not a going out out person but I have done and enjoyed it so I’m proud of that. Our friends at home even come out to see us so it’s literally the best of both worlds. Travelling is fine. My new car has made me more confident in my driving and although parking is sometime a nightmare, I can get into Canterbury in 40 minutes-1 hour on most days. There are so many others travelling too, I don’t feel like the only one. Plus, I can always stay with Charlotte or Nat and we have regular cute dinner dates (although I’m the only one who can actually cook). I get to use amazing technology and beautiful cameras on a daily basis; I’m learning with people just as passionate as me. It’s hard but I’m capable and not alone. I still keep my job and am even doing better at work. I get to hug my Mum everyday, I’m thankful the petty arguments with Dad and I still have time with Morgan. AND I GET TO SLEEP IN MY OWN BED AND GET READY AT MY OWN DRESSING TABLE. 

I’ve been so calm considering. There are moments of panic but, they pass and I feel instantly better afterwards. I think I’m finally getting my anxiety under control. (She says with fingers crossed.) I have fallen into a routine; I never forget my medication anymore and I feel better for it. I think I'm generally getting better.

I’ve met so many amazing people, too many to list, but still get to see important people in my life too. I get to see my two best friends from school at Uni everyday - I even stay with Charlotte once a week. I honestly don’t think we’ve ever been closer. We’ve met each other’s friends from our courses too. I’m lucky to finally call Nat a best friend too, she’s a ray of sunshine that I feel like I’ve known for years. I’ve befriended (wether they like it or not) Nat’s flat and spend time cooking and cleaning there as if it’s my own home. I’m thankful for their hospitality when I’ve been homeless or hungry. I still get to see Megan and Sof (wouldn’t cope if I didn’t) and I have time to talk to everyone from school. I’m so #blessed to have the best people in my group. Even people on my course I don't see every single day are great. People are just so diverse and accepting. It's such a great feeling to be around such nice people. Everyone is so genuine in my group and we share the same interests and we’ve all bonded and been through so much already. The guys are clever and funny and just great people that I'm so lucky to spend time with (shoutout to Will, Matt and Scott especially even though they'll never read this). 

And then there’s Monique…

She’s alright I guess. Honestly, I’ve never felt so close to someone so quickly. It’s been less than a month and I feel like I know her so well. We’ve been asked if we’ve been lifelong friends and it really does feel like that. She is the reason I get out of bed on the days I only have one lecture. She brings me iced tea when I’m in a bad mood. She’s genuinely the best thing about Uni. I can barely function on campus without her moaning about all the walking or how tired she is. I think I like her even more because she commutes and she’s the only girl in our friendship group (otherwise I’d have to compete for her love). She’s hilarious and beautiful and I’m so so lucky to have met her. It’s genuinely a nightmare to think that if I’d been put in a different group or had deffered my application I would have walked down the Powell corridor and would have no idea who she was. I’d still think she looked pretty great though. She is pretty great. I can genuinely call her one of my best friends and I hope she feels the same.

It’s been a wonderful month of… Dr Who Society. 9 am starts. Undercooked sausages. Invading other flats. Body slams. Cringing. Willy will. Shadow puppets. Monick. Almost brekadowns. Snakes. Bus rides to the club. Confusing animations. McDonalds Tuesdays. Cameras worth more than my life. Chemistry. Waitrose pasta. Harry making me laugh. Park and ride. Failed socialising. Free dominos. Kitchen disasters. Pub crawls. Starbucks George. Touristic Cathedral pictures. Almost fights. Lectures. Tim’s tips. Being silly with Charlotte. Dabbing. Ball boy. Leans. Free crap. Drunk crying. Raspberry iced tea. ALCOHOL. Bryan. Will Griggs. Rainbow drops. Group chat in lectures. Learning to love McDonalds. Lots of walking. Monique moaning about walking. Ed Byrne. Flooded hobs. Jeremy Kyle. Cry laughter. 

But most importantly… pure happiness for the first time in years.